Friday, 29 June 2007




Who Said?

'Behead those who say Islam is violent'?

A: Pakistani demonstrator (on a placard)

Tuesday, 26 June 2007

Are you gay?


Recognising the scope and depth of my personal qualities, as well as my gimlet intellect, many of my readers have sought my advice on a range of deeply personal matters. Few issues are more personal than sexual orientation, which, unsurprisingly, make up most of the heartfelt pleas for assistance. In essence the cry is - 'am I gay'?

I have called together a conclave of leading specialists in the field, neurosurgeons, psychiatrists, biologists, anthropologists - and for hands-on advice - assorted clergy. We have worked mightily to put together a 7-point taxonomy of indicators which we hope will provide clarity for the sexually confused amongst you:


1. If you are over thirty-five, and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.

2. If you have a cat, you are a flaaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, but gay -- it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog... "Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here,Killer!" Now think about how you call a cat..."Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on bar-b-q ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs feet, or titty. Anything else and you are in training to suck El Dicko and undeniably a fag.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.

5. If you drink decaf coffee, you like a high hard one in the poop chute. A straight man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Soy Latte". If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there too.

6. If you know more than six names of colors or four different types of dessert, you might as well be handing out free passes to your ass. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap as well as all the names of all the key sportsmen and porno stars. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a "fressier" is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than denim, you are faggadocious.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the punk off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, hold his beer, scratch his balls, or play with his broad in the passenger seat.

Monday, 25 June 2007

Norway's secret

One Eamonn Noonan has been bombarding the Irish media on the benefits of the Norwegian approach to immigration. He works for one of the swarm of immigration-focused NGOs that infest every European country. Their role being to instruct the host people on how they must adapt to accommodate the immigrants – never the other way around.

Anyway, our Eamonn paints a glowing picture of the scene in Norway, reassuring us that ‘slowly but surely, appreciation of the benefits of diversity is spreading’. Well now, whatever about surely, such appreciation is spreading slowly. Very slowly. And little wonder. Most Norwegians are scratching their heads as to how they got into such a mess.

This is from Aftenpost – the Norwegian English-language paper

Half of the first immigrants to Norway in the first half of the 1970s are now living on state payments. The study focused on 2,500 immigrants from Pakistan, India, Turkey and Morocco born between 1936 and 1955, and compared with a control group of Norwegians of the same age. In their first ten years the immigrants were actively employed, and as many were employed as Norwegians. But after this period their activity declined sharply, and by 2000 half of the immigrants were unemployed, compared to 13 percent of their Norwegian peers.
Meanwhile, like in the rest of Scandinavia, a rape tsunami is engulfing Norway, particularly in Oslo. In freewheeling Norway, girls can no longer walk home alone at night. All media in Norway studiously avoid mentioning the ethnic grouping of the rapists. However, Aftenpost did admit that almost three quarters of rapes were committed by men with a ‘non-Western background’. For this read: Somali, Afghan and Pakistani. (see this post also)

A 17-year-old Somalian was convicted of the rape of a young girl in Oslo one year ago. The court stated that the rape was unusually brutal and lasted for several hours. The Somalian choked the girl for so long that the medical doctor who examined the girl said that she could have died. In another incident, this prize specimen and his Moroccan friend raped a 13-year-old girl. Both girl are now suffering from severe psychological problems in the aftermath of the attacks .

The youth was sentenced to seventy years hard labour and then to be sent back to Somalia, chained like a wild beast. Sorry, I'm confused. In fact he got – for both crimes – a sentence of 56 months.

But even this was too much for Unni Wikan a professor of social anthropology at the University of Oslo. Unni says “Norwegian women must take their share of responsibility for these rapes” because Muslim men found their manner of dress provocative. The professor’s conclusion was not that Muslim men living in the West needed to adjust to Western norms, but the exact opposite: “Norwegian women must realize that we live in a Multicultural society and adapt themselves to it.” Note, Wikan means witch – and she does look like a witch, doesn’t she (as well as being one, of course).

Bruce Bawer, the author of the recent book While Europe Slept, has had death threats from Muslim extremists. Now isn’t that a surprise? On hearing this Norway’s Minister of Labor and Social Inclusion Bjarne HÃ¥kon Hanssen hastily called a press conference where he expressed outrage at an uninvited minority threatening one of the country’s leading intellectuals.

Come on - you didn’t really believe that, did you?

In fact the brave Bjarne issued an abject apology on behalf of the ‘Government’ at the press conference. At his side, accepting his act of contrition and instructing that all threats now be withdrawn, was Mohammed Hamdan, head of Norway’s Islamic Council, accompanied by a number of imams. It was a picture right out of a Sharia courtroom.. Incidentally, Hamdan, on another occasion, and naturally enough in Arabic, has boasted that “Islam will return to Europe as a conqueror.” You got that one right, buddy

Then we have Trond Giske, Minister of Culture and Church Affairs, who met with the same Mohammed Hamdan, and announced that government subsidies for the Islamic Council would be raised from 60,000 kroner a year to half a million. That’s more than a 700% increase in a single year. The government would also meet more frequently with the Islamic Council to “improve dialogue.” Hamdan smiled after having the meeting, saying “we’re pretty pleased with the meeting”.

I’ll fucking bet you are, you thieving murdering, Islamo-fascist terrorist pimp.

Finally, there have been calls for translating Norway’s national anthem to Urdu because this would be good for integration.

So there you have it - Eamon’s multicultural Norwegian paradise, which he strongly recommends for the Paddies.

If you're not outraged by this, please check for a pulse.

Saturday, 16 June 2007

Keep 'em coming

The knifing to death of Police Constable Jon Henry has, understandably attracted much media attention in the UK. Given the racial profile for knife murderers in the UK (and other countries), it's no surprise to find that the accused, Ikechukwu Tennyson Obih arrived illegally in the UK from Nigeria in 2000, but, despite some 'indications of criminal intent' was nonetheless granted indefinite leave to remain.

Smart decision guys.

Obih (seen pictured) was handcuffed to a prison guard and flanked by three policemen. The 27-year-old was also charged with the attempted murders of window cleaners Steven Chamberlain and David Knight. He faces a fourth charge - related to a separate incident on Monday - of armed burglary.

Given that Nigeria itself is a Mad Max bedlam of criminality, it's not surprising that so many of the 'asylum seekers' arriving here join the criminal fraternity. Speaking of which, what has happened to our own 'student' Olukunle Elunkanlo? This splendid chap was deported from Ireland in 2005 but after a long and expensive (for the taxpayer) campaign, was brought back to sit his Leaving Cert (all at taxpayers' expense, which explains why we spend about €400 million a year on such things).

In fairness Elunkanlo - who looks closer to 40 than 20 (see pic below) did all the right things for gaining residency. This included the most important one - getting a local girl up the pole. He used the resultant child to raise another lawsuit (again, at our expense) to gain the right to stay.

But Olukunle, just like Obih, demonstrated 'criminal tendencies' at an early stage. This manifested itself by being with another Nigerian 'asylum seeker' who was trying to rob an ATM machine at the time. But it appears that poor old Olukunle - he didn't know what was going on! Aaagh - the poor fellow. Naturally enough, he was never charged and all forgotten in good spirits.

Presumably though, it'll be remembered if he does an Ikechukwu Tennyson Obih at some stage in the future.

More Swedish madness

The proverbial dogs in the road in Sweden know that the burgeoning heroin trade is run by Muslim Albanians. Dahn Pettersson, a local politician in Sweden, has pointed this fact out, writing that 95 percent of all heroin brought in comes via Kosovo. Result? a fine of 18,000 kronor (about €2,000) for . “It is never ethnic groups that commit crimes. It is individuals or groups of individuals,” prosecutor Mats Svensson told the court.

The court found Pettersson guilty of ‘Agitation Against a Minority Group.’

Last out tyurn off the lights

Friday, 15 June 2007

Your Savant in trouble?

The Devil’s Kitchen reveals that a supermarket worker who set up a website mocking minority groups has been told he could be jailed. Economics graduate Andrew Love, 22, "blogged to shock" on the site and invited staff at the Falkirk Morrisons branch where he worked to view it. Love directed his insults at groups including black and disabled people, Muslims and homosexuals. He pleaded guilty to ‘causing a racially aggravated breach of the peace’.

Presumably there must have been a major race riot that nobody’s heard about. Strange, that.

Sheriff (Judge) trumpeted "This was disgraceful conduct, very serious and unpleasant. You should be under no illusions that this is a charge of great gravity. The offence you caused, and might have caused, was very grave indeed, and may need to be marked by the court."

Can you believe this? He’s not talking about serial killing, rape or kidnapping. He’s talking about someone taking the piss for the amusement of his work-mates.

The PC Thought Police are closing in. Will your Savant be next?

Sopranos Finale



Who Said....?
.
"Faith is believing in something you know to be untrue?"
.
A: Woody Allen

Tuesday, 5 June 2007

Lance Armstrong goes incognito


The Savant's spies again quick on the draw, and saw through his cunning disguise.




Who said....?

"If Jesus had been born 100 years ago Christians would now be wearing little electric chairs around their necks"

A: Lenny Bruce

Israeli academic boycott

The main university lecturers’ union in the UK has called for a boycott of Israeli academic institutions. The boycott resolution called on British college lecturers to “consider the moral implications of existing and proposed links with Israeli academic institutions.” The resolution condemned what it called “the complicity of Israeli academia” in the occupation of Palestinian lands and said “passivity or neutrality is unacceptable, and criticism of Israel cannot be construed as anti-Semitic.

While the Israeli academic establishment has indeed some questions to answer, the resolution nonetheless seems pretty selective in its outrage.

Selectivity of another kind altogether in another resolution passed by the same union, which voted unanimously to reject a government plan to tackle Islamic extremism in universities. The Department for Education set guidelines last year urging university staff to contact police to identify and isolate Muslim students suspected of being radicalized. The report included real-life cases, including students watching online bomb-making videos in college libraries and using prayer rooms for radical meetings

The lecturers likened the initiative to "witch hunts" that would ‘unfairly’ single out Muslim students. Er, pardon me, but among whom exactly would you look for Islamic extremists – The Church of England Choir, the Young Conservatives?.

"Lecturers want to teach students," bleats Sally Hunt, general secretary of the union. "If they wanted to police them, they would have joined the force." Well Sally, my dear, let’s hope that remark doesn’t come back to haunt you. Even though you deserve it, you stupid bitch. The union added that such measures would ‘undermine academic freedom, collegiality and open discourse’.

And of course the Israeli boycott wouldn’t do any of those things, would it?

Opus Dei still rules at Education

What to make of the Church at Study (i.e. the Department of Education) requesting the Dublin Archbishop to act as patron of a new school for non-Catholics?

Situation: Catholic schools can and do refuse entry to non-Catholics on the basis that the Bishop is 'patron'. Note that such schools are funded by the general taxpayer, the bloated coffers of the Church remaining free to pay for 1st class travel to Bangcock and other such spiritual destinations.

Sr. Mary Hanafin
Anyway, a new school must be opened for the rejected 'non-Catholics'. And who does the Department ask to act as patron? You might want to take a firm hold of something solid here - the Catholic bishop.

So now, in charge of this new school they're putting the representative of an organisation that has abused, raped, molested and driven to suicide countless thousands of children put in their 'care' by the State. Why has this happened? Well, first Mary Hannifan looks like a nun, talks like a nun, and, you know the rest... Also, Opus Dei is alive and well at Education. The 'senior official' who master-minded the infamous Abuse Redress Scam, now retired on an index-linked pension paid for by the same taxpayers that he robbed, was a senior spook in that sinister oragnisation.

But we've just elected the same people for another 5 years...